vanity project

glowing review: imPRESS salon manicure

Tue, 23 Apr 2013 14:39:16 -0400

My nails are so lame. For real! No matter how many stupid vitamins (I’m looking at you, fish oil, Vitamin D, those “women’s only” pink ones my mom bought me), or how much protein I eat, or whatever, my nails split and break like little pussies. I could bathe them in OPI Nail Envy for weeks and still, they’d just bend and snap. And I’m sick of it! I want long nails! Long nails are sooo glamorous. But I’m not into the idea of getting acrylics quite yet, because that’s extra maintenance. I like to go thrifting on my days off, OK?

So before my trip to LA (take me back! I love you LA!) I bought two “bottles” of imPRESS Salon Manicure press-on nails. My experience with press-on nails dates back to, oh, 1997 and sleepovers with my girlfriends. I’d read favorable reviews of the impress line and was super into the fact that they came in a “short” length. I work retail and I text a lot, so yeah, talons = no. I purchased the hot pink style and the neon/leopard “By My Side,” which was just tacky and awesome enough for a vacation mani. (Basic colors are about $7, designs $8.) imPRESS nails are housed in clear plastic “nail polish” bottles, which is not only cute but also handy, since they’re not rattling around in a box trying to get loose and spill all over your car.

I’ve been painting my nails since age seven, so I’m pretty good at that. I can do those Sally Hansen nail stickers in my sleep. That’s about the extent of my manicure skills, though. I leave the crazy stuff (read: cuticles) to the pros. However, with imPRESS all you gotta do is fit the nails to yours – they come in assorted sizes, 24 to a pack. Peel off the little sticker on the back, press firmly on your nail beginning at the center and moving to the edges. Done! It is INSANELY easy. Use the smallest size nail possible and do your thumbs last. Don’t get them wet for a half hour or so to let that glue really set. The adhesive is gentle, so when you remove them (they claim to last 7-10 days) your natural nails won’t be ruined.

At first I was like, “Whoaaaa my nails are so long! My hands look like my mom’s!” The “short length” is a little misleading if you’re not used to faux nails, because these babies are long. You can file/cut them down to suit your aesthetics, though. It was strange using my phone, opening stuff, putting in contacts. (That still feels weird and scary, to be honest.) The cats were into my new claws because they were on the receiving end of some primo scratch action. I got compliments at the airport from a group of Southern men in blaze orange tees and they were a great topic of conversation for the person in the seat next to mine. (Need I mention I obviously used the neon leopard style first?)

Compliments aside, these things STAYED ON. I wore them five days straight and only lost two nails; a swipe of actual nail glue borrowed from a friend anchored those on. (In fairness, they were my pointer fingers, which definitely get the most wear and tear.) I did dishes, took a shower, ran around LA … they didn’t budge. They would’ve lasted longer had I not gotten bored and peeled them off.

I’m wearing the dark red, Tweetheart, right now and I am OBSESSED with my nails. They’re so shiny! And long! Lana del Rey-lite, I think. imPRESS, I’m in love with you. Now please help me find that elusive red-orange shade!

xoVain

Mon, 22 Apr 2013 17:09:44 -0400

I have a post up at xoVain! So excited. Read it here: http://www.xovain.com/hair/caring-for-hair-extensions#_tid=listing-streamclick&_tact=click+%3A+article&_tval=12&_tlbl=Position%3A+12

beauty professional: heidi melena

Wed, 10 Apr 2013 11:11:17 -0400

Heidi Melena is my makeup goddess. Going to visit her at Nordstrom (or having lunch with her at Tao) is like a shining beacon of light in my life. I love having her do my face, but I also love being around her. Therefore, you should all take my advice and go visit her this weekend at Nordstrom MOA’s Pretty Party, because I can’t go. Trust me, your face (and your spirit!) will be all the happier if you stop by. I had lunch with Heidi and grilled her about her career in makeup. The part where we played with all the natural skincare at Tao is not included in this interview, but it should have been.

Have you always been into makeup?

Always, since I was 4 years old. I was begging as a tiny child to get makeup palettes that I would see on the back of Reader’s Digest for 99 cents so I could practice and become an expert.

Did you have any schooling? Or are you self-taught?

I had great mentors; there were people in my family who are great makeup artists. I apprenticed with them, doing weddings in my early 20s. I was also part of a modeling agency in my late teens so I learned about makeup and the fashion industry.

How did you get to Nordstrom, which is where I met you?

By doing freelance makeup, working w different vendors, filling in hours, supporting events. I did freelance makeup for fashion shows, then I got connected with a brand and after I got connected with the brand I fell in love with the culture of Nordstrom, the way they encourage us to be experts. I was invited to stay and I’ve been there 8 years.

You’ve worked at several counters since I’ve known you, which is only about a year. (Armani, Stila/Kevyn Aucoin/Napoleon Perdis, to name a few) What’s your favorite?

My favorite was Shu Uemura, because it’s a Mecca of artistry. [It’s not sold in the US anymore.] No one makeup brand is gonna work for an entire face or for one person, that’s why there’s a variety of makeup and skincare. There isn’t one true answer for any individual. It’s all about knowing how to modify the makeup.

Do you freelance as much as you used to?

Not as much, but I still do. Photoshoots, makeup for commercials, makeup for cable TV. I just did a commercial for Lowe’s. [Heidi does the makeup for Nicole Curtis, star of “Rehab Addict.” They met at the Armani counter at Nordstrom and Heidi’s done her face ever since.] And I still do weddings.

What are women at Nordstrom typically looking for?

They want to look fresh and clean, they want to look like they have nothing on. It’s convincing them that it’s OK to look like you have makeup on! They want it to be fast. Not willing to spend more than 5-10 minutes on their makeup. They have a lot of things going on, 3-4 children, don’t make time for themselves. They don’t realize that it takes only a few minutes to take care of yourself. You look forward to a routine in the morning, then you can go on with your day.

Since Nordstrom is at the Mall of America, you see a lot of different women in a day.

Globally, there are a lot of ways women want to be seen and accepted with their makeup. You learn about the trends, educate yourself. What are the tips and the products women buy on a global market? French women want a brow and a red lip. Women from the Middle East want a full face of foundation, but paler than their skintone.

When I met you you were at Armani, now you’re in skincare.

I like doing skincare because it’s all about a beautiful, fresh, clean foundation. Women have to spend so much time mixing things on their face, so they use too much foundation, compensating for a skincare situation they could easily fix with the right products. I’ve always done skincare before any makeup application. Because I’ve been there so long, I have enough experience choosing skincare for my guests. I can also pick from the entire department what is going to work best. Not everybody can afford a $62 foundation.

What are some of your favorite lines at Nordstrom right now?

Armani will always be my favorite line. I’m really into Stila, I’m glad Stila’s back. It’s a beautiful line. Kevyn Aucoin is back; he was one of the ultimate makeup artists of all time. They used his storyboards to create the line. The Sensual Skin Enhancer was created after the geisha makeup in Japan. For basic makeup, I like Laura Mercier, Bobbi Brown. It’s simple, cut and dry for the girl who wants to look polished.

What about skincare?

I love Dr. Gross. I love Arcona. Arcona’s natural so I’m always really into that. For science and technology, I love Clarins - it was the first skincare line to create a serum, they’re passionate about oils. It’s fun to teach women how important oil is for the skin. [Heidi taught ME about oils! I like the Clarins Blue Orchid oil and Dr. Hauschka Day Oil.] I love the new science of the Regenessence from Armani. It came right from Stanford Medical school. People don’t want to wait a cycle, they want their skincare results to happen in an hour.

What do you think are three products every woman should have?

Face oil, the MD Skincare two-step peel, a tinted moisturizer from Chantecaille. It’s a full protection barrier from the environment with SPF. Then a cheek and a lip color are important.

What are some makeup trends you hate?

I hate that a lot of makeup lines every season, every year come out with the same variation of color. It lacks creativity. I’m sick of smoky eyes. It’s been what everyone has asked for since the ’90s. You can do it in three products; it’s really simple.

ME: Yeah, I did it Saturday night just like you showed me! With a liner, black mascara and a brown shadow. It took me like 5 minutes and I was done.

What’s going on at Nordstrom this weekend?

This weekend is the Pretty Party, 12th and 13th of April. Complimentary facials, we have experts coming in from all over the country representing their brands. We’re doing eye treatments too. You can learn about the technology in skincare, but also learn how to use it. Amazing makeup artists come from all over the country to teach you tips and tricks. There are also a million gifts with purchase! You can incorporate those into your regular makeup routine too.

What’s your best, biggest piece of advice?

Have a routine. Do it day and night. You’re consistent with it. It’s something you do and makes your skin feel good. Don’t do a routine for a routine’s sake; you do it because it works for you.

And that tiny spot on your face that you’re so focused on? Nobody else sees it. It’s not what you express to the world. Women are so focused on one little imperfection, but that’s what makes you human.

i'm going to LA! here's what i'm packing

Tue, 09 Apr 2013 13:17:00 -0400

Thank God I booked my LA trip when I did, because apparently stupid Minnesota is getting snow this week. See ya! Here’s what I’m throwing in my Everlane weekender for my much-anticipated vacation to see three of my fave chicks and get some sunlight. Minnesota, you suck right now.

NARS light reflecting loose setting powder - I am running on about 50-50 with this product. Previously I was using an ancient BareMinerals Mineral Veil loose powder to set my makeup, but this has such good reviews that I thought I’d try it. Does it really reflect light? I honestly can’t tell you. Keeps my face on for most of the day, anyway.

Jemma Kidd Show Stopper bronzer - This bronzer has been with me since 2010 and I still haven’t hit pan. I prefer NARS Laguna, but this will do just fine.

Stila primer & bronzer serums - I love these Stila One Step swirly magic products. The primer blends several shades, including green to correct redness, and helps keep my face in place all day long. The bronzing one also contains some luminizer so I can look glowy and pretty in the California sun. (Last summer I mixed the bronzer with my BB cream.)

Dr. Gross Alpha-Beta peel and Feulic Acid & Retinol solution - Skincare routine as of late. LOVE.

Yes to Grapefruits brightening wipes - I have a feeling I won’t want to wash my face every single night. I’m not bringing my Clairsonic, so these should work in a pinch.

Impress press-on manicure - SO amazingly tacky (I got hot pink and a neon/leopard style), but also a good length. My nails, no matter how much I try to beef them up via basecoats, vitamins, etc., are just sad brittle little guys. That means I shouldn’t get gel nails, so I’m really pumped about trying these ($5.99 at Target).

Donna Karan Cashmere Mist deodorant - God I hope I never develop an allergy to this. It works SO well and doesn’t ever compete with whatever perfume I’m wearing. I get the full-size for home and the mini ($10, Sephora) for travel.

(What else am I bringing? Well, I’m going to Blowdry! for a blowout so I have beautiful curls and don’t need to bother with styling my extensions. Also taking along my new Make Up For Ever gold eyeliner, some Clarins foundation and a handful of perfume samples.)

non-traditional dude beauty interview: mark mallman

Wed, 03 Apr 2013 10:00:16 -0400

Mark Mallman is a real cool guy. I always like running into him at various Minneapolis events, and he gave me a copy of “The Other Hollywood,” Legs McNeil’s oral history of the porn industry; I had searched for that out of print book for AGES and so I was pretty pumped to have it. Mark and I share a love of the Muppets and Neil Young; when I describe him to people, I tell them how once at a bar, he turned to me and said the nicest thing a man has ever said to me: “What do YOU think about this, Kara?” I sent him my usual “dude beauty questions,” but he decided in true Mallman fashion to do something a little different. I bolded my favorite parts. :) Read on!

In light of recent events, I keep my loft apartment empty. There’s no kitchen table. No paintings on the walls. No plush recliner. No rambling television. Just space – a space that is just. Maybe I do this because I’ve grown independent from the material world, or maybe it’s because I’ve destroyed everything in my life that could possibly have blossomed into something with meaning.

I have 2 bowls, 2 plates, 2 coffee mugs and 2 cocktail glasses. The same holds true for utensils. I do not own a frying pan or even a pot to boil water in. Upon my refrigerator are two small plants. They require no attention. This is a secret to survival I am struggling to learn from them. The refrigerator itself is mostly empty, save for mixers. I have a coffee machine that brews 1 full cup, or if you are visiting, 2 half cups. Though it has a broken top, it’s never disappointed. Next to the window are two dead roses standing in a brick hole. They were dead when I moved in and they are still dead now. Though I think it would be beautiful if somebody made a movie about zombie roses that came back from the dead. On the brick ledge, there’s an old soup can ashtray for guests who smoke. There are mirrors, but in my teenage years I trained myself to avoid them.

In my bedroom I keep a moderately expensive, very soft, full-sized bed. I am 6’1” and my feet hang off the edge at night. We adapt. Now I have trouble sleeping in hotel rooms when the bed is too long. I own 2 pillows. One is for wishful thinking. I’ve been told that I’m “one of those guys who doesn’t believe in a top sheet” by a woman I believe to be a sociopath. I have 2 decks of cards - 1 of them is a trick deck. I do not keep books, I pay them forward. I cannot for the life of me ever locate my pajamas.

I am mildly allergic to perfume and colognes. But I also believe we would be a happier society if we chose our mates based on scent. For instance, dogs are generally happy. A hairdresser once told me that shampoo is bad for the hair, but I like the way it smells. This is also the best part about hair dye, the smell of the conditioner that comes with it. I was in love with someone who’d left behind her shampoo after visiting. I did not throw it away for 3 months because I was still in love. When I finally tossed it, the feeling stayed. The singer of my old band once told me, “We never stop being in love with someone, we just stop seeing them. Falling in love is like uncorking a never ending bottle of wine.” On my bathroom sink is a bottle of mouthwash and an over-squeezed tube of toothpaste. I sliced open the back end to get the stubborn stuff out. It wasn’t from thriftiness, but forgetfulness. Toothpaste is also like bottles of wine; always keep a couple of reserve tubes. That is advice I will give but never follow.

My last 4 pairs of motorcycle boots are in a row by the door. I do not drive a motorcycle. My guests rarely wear shoes. I keep boot friends. I have no curtains on my windows. I live too high up for anyone to see inside. Some mornings I watch the slow line of commuters trudge into downtown. Sometimes I sip coffee and listen to Miles Davis “Kind of Blue.” At night, the music pales to the sound of drunk drivers snaking out of town. I do not pray for them, but I pray for their victims. Sometimes there’s the sound of sirens. Sometimes alley fights. Very rarely even a bird in this part of downtown. Never a serenade to rooftop love. Not so rare is laughter in the streets, but it is often bitter, always drunk. There are nights when my phone doesn’t ring, yet I feel overcrowded. There are days when it doesn’t stop, yet I feel terribly alone. Upon a music stand rests a list of people I’m supposed to contact. I rarely contact them. I only return messages from family. I will not listen to your voicemails until we fall in love. Far too often, I find myself texting, “Hope your night went well, and that you are having a good day. Haven’t heard from you lately. Is everything OK?” If I am to write about beauty, then I am also to write about sadness. Like Italian actor Roberto Benigni says in “Down By Law” - over and over, the words, “It is a sad and a beautiful world.” I find myself quoting this often. It is a sad and a beautiful world. Over and over. It is a sad and a beautiful world.

It was my mother who taught me how to shave. Not because my dad wasn’t around or anything like that, he was great. It was simply that she noticed first. One morning she just said, “Go grab Dad’s electric razor. Turn it on, and rub it on your face like this.” Then she makes a shaving motion with her hand on her cheek, and that was that - I miss that funny lady to pieces every second. The one thing about being an American male is that there is no real rite of passage into adulthood. No ceremony, no real awareness of adulthood’s firm grip upon us. We’re thrown into the lobster boil simply to become a man, but without any real sense of understanding the damn concept to begin with. A young guy basically has the choice of faking he knows what the hell is going on through trial and error, or become a neurotic Woody Allen type who ends up marrying his own stepdaughter. I love Woody Allen, but I spent the entirety of my twenties practicing the trial and error method. In most cultures, becoming a man is a ceremony over a night, or at most a couple of days. But America is so twisted up in plastic, so deep in denial of the human experience, that I believe it takes a good 10 years. Or at least a really bad 5.

For me, that whole decade came and went like a box of broken guitar strings - always another one down at the shop on the corner. Always a fresh plate in the dishwasher of my hipster youth. I’d like to think I’ve approached my thirties with a greater respect for what’s permanent. But my duct-taped together, mostly-working instrument of choice, would suggest otherwise. When you play piano the way I play piano, shit gets broke. Most of the time it’s me. I’d like to think that I’ve learned to the ability to tell the difference between beauty in ugliness and ugliness in beauty. In life, we play through the pain. Like the little ballerina who falls, then gets up again, smiling. Courageous tenacity.

All winter, I counted the days till the bird sanctuary reopens, but the website still just says “opening soon.” So all winter, I waited. I also waited for the agent to call, for the client to pay, for the publicist to tell me something good. I waited for her to walk through the door, for her to catch me in the elevator, for her to grace me with a shred of truth the morning after. It is like Lucretia waiting on Rembrandt to paint away the blade. I wished somebody would visit. I wished I could just walk away. I wished I were kissing somebody in a black and white movie theater right now.

I need a good lipstick for my grief, a rouge for my ruthless heart, and a proper eyeliner for my third eye. I wish that I were younger. I wish that I were thinner. Sometimes I take ‘down’ elevators just to feel lighter.

i got hair extensions!

Mon, 01 Apr 2013 10:00:14 -0400

I got hair extensions last week! If you follow me on Instagram, you already knew this. Oh yeah, I so graciously lent my head to my friends at the bestest salon in Minneapolis, Haus, for Euro Loc extension training. (“So graciously” my ass, I’ve been dying for extensions forever.)

Since I love bleaching the shit out of my hair, it gets mad at me and won’t grow as fast as I’d like. I’d been toying with the idea of clip-ins, but if you’re offering me real European hair and all I have to do to get it is hang out in a cool space and read magazines, I’m in. My brother thinks it’s mad creepy that someone else’s hair is now living in my head, but I love it.

Here’s what my hair looked like before it was put in my head. Euro Loc hair is 100% European hair. This is 6 bags of hair, so you can imagine how many bags of hair live in the heads of celebrities. It matches my hair color PERFECTLY, which was a plus since it’s a chameleon hair color and changes every time I wash it.

Euro Loc extensions use a thin copper wire and a clamped-on bead to attach to your head, unlike other extensions which use a keratin bond or glue. That means you can style these all the way up to your root. My whole head took about three hours to complete; Caitlin started to weave them in right above my ears and then did another row at the base of my hair.

Now that I’ve had them for almost two weeks, here’s the pros and cons:

PROS:

-Real hair, so it feels natural and looks like it’s actually mine.

-Perfect length (basically falls right below my boobs, which is what I wanted). It can be trimmed.

-Durable. I can yank on these things fairly hard and they don’t move or feel loose. I’ve only lost one. I am also able to use pretty much whatever heat styling tools and products I want, because there’s no danger of them melting.

-Easy to get used to. The first two nights were tough sleep-wise, but they’re just fine now. I keep them in a scrunchie ponytail overnight so they don’t tangle.

-They LAST. If I take care of them, I can have them for about 4 months.

CONS:

-So far, they’re not awesome at holding curl. However, they were so silky upon application that I’m pretty sure they’ll toughen up a little with some wear.

-My hair texture doesn’t match them. I have to learn to blow out my top layers because they’re far wavier than the extensions. Again, I think they’ll start to wave more as time goes by.

Before!

beauty professional: amber rose

Wed, 27 Mar 2013 10:00:21 -0400

This gorgeous girl is local makeup & hairstylist Amber Rose. Can you get enough of her in this picture? Me either. Stunning! (Her hair is currently a lovely pink shade, which I love even more.) You may know her from her fashion work, or perhaps you’re one of her brides? Her bridal work is pitch-perfect. I caught up with Amber and even got a sneak peek at her kit. (Photo courtesy Taylor Tupy)

Tell me a little bit about yourself. How old are you and where are you from?
- I’m 27 and from a little town in Southern Minnesota called Walters, population 98 and decreasing. I studied Cosmetology at the Aveda Institute in 2004. I’ve been living in Minneapolis for the past 9 years and have plans for a move this coming year…LA or NY bound.

When did your love affair with beauty start & why?
Probably around the age of 6. I wanted to be a model when I was young so my mom took me to some classes at Caryn Int’l when I was 11 or 12. After my first photo shoot with a real photographer, hair stylist and makeup artist I was hooked. I wanted to be around those people and be one of them. I was always into fashion, hair and makeup. I learned everything beauty and fashion wise from TV and magazines since the locals weren’t exactly fashionistas and I didn’t have the internet until I was 16.

What is life as a makeup artist like? What’s a typical day in the life of Amber Rose like?
There is never a typical day, which is why I love my job! Some days I may only have one client and only work for an hour, others I may be on a shoot for 12 hours. I’m constantly meeting and working with new faces. Some days it’s hair extensions or a brides trial run at their home and others it may be a photo shoot on a farm in the middle of no where. I love the variety and flexibility of my job so much.

What inspires you?
I’m inspired by other artists: hair stylists, makeup artists, stylists, photographers, designers, musicians…if you’re creating art, I’m watching, learning and admiring it.

You do a lot of brides. What do you think is the perfect bridal look?
I love the soft romantic bridal look. Loose Veronica Lake waves or an effortless looking up do. Rosy dewy cheeks and lashes are a must.

What beauty trends do you wish would go away?
Tight updos, tendrils, glitter, and drag queen makeup on women. Anything that makes it look like you tried too hard.

What are your favorite spring/summer beauty trends?
I’m loving deep side parts, pastel colors in your hair or on your lips, eyes or nails, Twiggy-inspired eyes and colored eyeliners. Just don’t wear all these things at once!

What are your five “can’t live without them” products?
Jouer Tinted Moisturizer, Big Sexy Hair Powder Play, Rusk W8less Hairspray, MAC’s Haute and Naughty Mascara and NARS Velvet Matte Lip Pencils.

You’re also a hairstylist - what are you seeing for upcoming hair trends?

Again, those deep side parts and middle parts, messy updos, 1960s styles, tomboy hair, bobs and mid-length hair.

On any given day, what’s on YOUR face? What products do you use personally?
My skincare is usually all natural- it switches between Weleda and Dr. Hauschka. I love dewy skin and Jouer Tinted Moisturizer is my go-to product for that. I’ve been using a lot of NARS products lately- their blushes, lip pencils and shadows are amazing. I just bought Lanza’s Healing Oil and Trauma Treatment to keep my hair healthy since I change it so much, they work great!

What’s your biggest piece of advice for beauty-loving chicks?
Be confident! You can use the most expensive products and hire the best hair/makeup artists, but insecurity will always show through if you’re not comfortable in your own skin. Also- be bold, try new looks and reinvent yourself once in a while, it’s fun and that’s what beauty should be!

beauty interview: shieva salehnia

Mon, 25 Mar 2013 10:00:00 -0400

I met Shieva when she was living with two of my dude friends. As I always do when in a residence of someone I know, I snooped in their bathroom and geeked out because their new girl roommate had a Guerlain kohl eyeliner. My girl crush on her started right then. Isn’t she adorable? We just had a great 20-minute conversation about brow threading at a party on Saturday night, and I love a girl who can yammer on about eyebrows just as long as I can.

When did you start wearing makeup?

I started wearing makeup in the seventh grade. My mom was hesitant to let me wear it to school. My dad outright disapproved.

Who taught you/what products did you use?

At first, I taught myself. I was only wearing eye shadow and lip gloss so there wasn’t much technique required. My mom bought me a really beautiful Elizabeth Arden eye shadow duo; one was beige and the other was shimmery copper. I also used Bath and Body Works glitter body lotion for middle school dances.

What do you find attractive about yourself? What do you think are your best features?

My Iranian looks are something I love about myself —dark hair, dark eyes, olive skin. My hair is nice, but time consuming to make the curls look pretty. Men compliment it, but I would rather walk around with a shaved head. I did shave my head when I was 21, and it was really liberating. I finally understood how easy men have it, the whole shower-and-go thing. Fortunately my skin is cooperative when I take care of it. I’m grateful for that.

What is your daily routine?

I first look in the mirror to deduce my unibrow/eyebrow situation. As much as I love being Iranian, it comes with a lot of dark hair. Hop in the shower, using the hottest water I can stand. The hot water is so bad for my skin, I know. Shampoo every other day and condition. Soap. If it’s winter, I put moisturizer on my face. I brush my teeth with this crazy Tom’s toothpaste that is propolis and myrrh, flavored gingermint. The taste took some getting used to, but now I love it. I moisturize everything. Then to make-up: pressed powder around the eyes, curl eyelashes and mascara, put on liquid eyeliner, a little blush. Then comes hair drying, which is absolutely my least favorite thing. Product it up, twist it into sections, and blow-dry for 10 minutes.

I try so hard to wash my face at night because if I don’t, in the morning my skin feels grimy. Then a sense of guilt washes over me because maybe my negligence caused a zit. I wonder if men ever feel the way I’ve felt about my skin…I’m sure some have.

What are your favorite products? What can’t you live without?

Dr. Bronner’s soap in Peppermint. Everything Aveda Be Curly. The products make my hair look great. They also don’t smell super flowery.

MAC liquid eyeliner in Boot Black. Clinique High Impact Mascara. I’ve used the same kind since my parents allowed me to buy makeup. It’s not waterproof, which is a blessing when it comes time to take off my face.

I have to have L’Occitane lip balm. The shea butter in it is luxurious. I love NARS for dramatic eye shadow and lipstick.

My favorite fragrance to wear is Chanel Chance. I’ve worn it since high school. Maybe it’s time I move up to Mademoiselle.

Who are your beauty icons?

My mother because she’s honest about beauty. She will tell me when my moustache is showing, and threads my eyebrows for me. She taught me that when it comes to makeup, you have to spend money to get good quality. When I was a kid, my mom would take me to the make up counters of Younkers or Macy’s. She’d buy eye cream for herself and aftershave for my dad. She has amazing bone structure.

Marilyn Monroe. She was usually wearing a hint of eye liner and red lipstick. Very chic.

My friend Emily Angelo. She’s an amazing stylist at Honeycomb Salon, and the only person I trust to cut my hair. She’s not afraid to change her hair —style or color, and I admire that.

Sophia Loren. Young Liza Minnelli, especially in Cabaret.

Patti Smith for rocking the best shag of the 70s and 80s.

What are products you think every girl needs?

A nice eyeliner. Something that’s not too smudgy, although I love kohl powder as well.

Tinted lip balm/lip gloss/lip butter. It’s such an easy way to bring color to your face, and less of a commitment than lipstick. Korres makes the best.

Hair spray. Aerosol preferably.

I went to Spring Breakers and all I wanted to do was talk about hot girls

Fri, 22 Mar 2013 12:49:00 -0400

It has always been a lifelong dream of mine to be a hot girl in a bikini waving a gun around on the beach, so of course I was all in to check out Harmony Korine’s (“Kids”) new trip of a movie, “Spring Breakers.” Starring two ex-Disney queens (Selena Gomez as innocent, sweet Faith and Vanessa Hudgens as bad-girl Candy), it’s a contemporary sister to Sofia Coppola’s lovely but vague “Marie Antoinette.” With drug lords, boobs and beer bongs.

Korine’s film is more fantasy than reality; the four friends rob a restaurant to escape their dreary town and be part of the debauchery that is the classic American spring break. While there, all but Gomez’s Faith connect with their dark sides and spend most of the movie in bikinis holding up hotel rooms alongside James Franco’s sleazy white-boy rapper/gangbanger Alien, a Kevin Federline lookalke with a mouthful of grills and some mad cheesy cornrows. (The best scene of the entire movie is when Alien and his girls go on a violent spree set to Britney Spears’ classic ballad “Everytime.”)

“Spring Breakers,” even though it deals with ugly subject matter, is a pretty movie. The girls are beautiful in their skimpy day-glo bikinis and shot in syrupy, hazy light as though Korine has been doing bong hits alongside them. In fact, I spent most of the movie gleaning beauty tips. Here’s what I learned about beauty from “Spring Breakers.”

1. If you’re going to rob a restaurant, it’s probably best to tuck your pink hair inside your mask because it’s an easy identifier, duh. Cotty, played by Korine’s wife Rachel, wears a cotton-candy shade with grown-out roots throughout the movie. Trendy!

2. Stay-all-day eyeliner is a must for your spring break trip. Whatever the girls are using lasts through a dip in the hotel pool and an overnight stay in jail. Smudgy old liner is sexy and alluring, like you’ve been up for days doing cocaine off your friend’s boobs.

3. The secret to perfect beachy waves is chlorine and party sweat. Candy’s (Hudgens) dark blonde waves are flawlessly messy throughout the movie, even when she’s boning Alien in a three-way in the pool. Her main partner in crime and threesomes Brit (“Pretty Little Liars” Ashley Benson) rocks the trendy, Karlie Kloss-endorsed Chop. Benson’s features are so petite and delicate that she’s terrifying as a cold-hearted criminal.

4. James Franco has a lot of fun wearing a grill. He delights in playing with it, hamming it up as Alien. Without those grills I don’t think he would’ve been half as nasty. Oh, and Alien wears Calvin Klein Escape cologne.

5. You can’t cover up Gucci Mane’s ice cream tattoo. Did I mention the rapper is in “Spring Breakers?” He plays drug lord king Archie, Alien’s ex-best friend who’s out to off him. That trademark tattoo is in place on his cheek even when he’s in character. You can’t cover up Gucci Mane with HD makeup!

6. Even actresses with “perfect” beach bodies have cellulite. Yeah, I looked. I’m sorry. Blame the media. That said, all four girls look perfectly collegiate and all-American in those bikinis. (That’s basically all they wear throughout the entire movie. Envious.)

7. Burning question: Exactly where do you keep your luminizer and lip gloss in said bikini, Selena Gomez? Also, even though you don’t get naked and leave halfway through the movie, you make me uncomfortable because you look perpetually 15.

“Spring Breakers” will probably be inspiring to teen girls on Tumblr too, which is a little scary. (Who am I kidding; I’m a teen girl at heart even though I’m a 25-year-old lady.) As long as they’re taking beauty tips from the foursome and not learning how to pack a pistol, that should be OK.

Julie Swenson on her (current) fave products

Wed, 13 Mar 2013 11:01:05 -0400

Have you met Julie Swenson? No? You’re missing out. She is WONDERFUL. And talented! She does hair, she does makeup, she does brides, she does celebs … and she is insanely sweet and fun. I caught up with Julie to ask her what products she’s loving right now. Here’s what she told me; start making your shopping list now!

I am a minimalist when it comes to wearing makeup. I basically wear a tinted moisturizer and a nude lip color. I am a lover of good skin care products!

For myself:

To remove makeup without stripping my skin:
Koh Gen Do Cleansing Spa Water

To prevent wrinkles:
Elizabeth Dehn for One Love Organics
Active Moisture Vitamin C Serum

For my dry skin this winter:
Bobbi Extra Repair Serum

To even out my skin & give me a radiant glow:
Jouer Luminizing Moisture Tint SPF 20

For nude lips:
Makeup Designory Lip Glaze in Bare

For everyone:

Sigma Makeup Brushes! - I love the these synthetic brushes for applying creams, especially for contouring (with liquid/cream) and under eye correction.

F88 - Flat Angled Kabuki™
P84 - Precision Angled™

All Hail to the Chief! (the late Kevyn Aucoin)

Definitely one of my favorite makeup artists and I adore his makeup line.

For contouring the cheeks: Kevyn Aucoin Sculpting Powder

For a ‘pop’ of color:
Kevyn Aucoin Pure Powder Glow Blush

For correcting/neutralizing under eye dark circles:
Bobbi Brown Corrector

For brightening the eyes at the lower lashline (white is out, nude is in!):
Tarte EmphasEYES™ Inner Rim Brightener

beauty interview: nora purmort

Mon, 11 Mar 2013 10:34:00 -0400

When I saw this photo of Nora on her Instagram, I actually gasped. Look at that perfect shade of pink! I fell in love with Nora via her blog, which has on occasion made me cry my eyes out. (Confession: We have never actually met in real life, unless you count the time I saw her at Value Village and didn’t say anything because the Internet is weird.) Anyway, I got her to spill some of her beauty secrets … and a few of her new baby Ralph’s. (He has a baby Woolrich jacket! HOW did I not know this existed?)

When did you start wearing makeup?
Besides the time in about 4th grade where I mistook my sister’s concealer stick as nude lipstick and went to school looking like a corpse, I started using make-up surreptitiously in seventh grade.

Who taught you/what products did you use?
My mom is really cool. Not in a weird Mean Girls way where she wanted to be my friend, but in the way where she has a Tumblr and works in advertising and says things like “oh, balls!” She taught me many things, but the feminine arts were in no way included. That’s why Hulk Hogan mistook me for a boy when I was 10 (yeah, I know he calls everyone “brother” but he definitely thought I was a dude).

Secretly, I started using makeup completely unsupervised in seventh grade. You know how everyone has a cool Aunt and Uncle that let you stay up all night and eat sugar cereal and watch movies until your eyes glaze over? That same Aunt and Uncle always gave me amazing gifts, like the Victoria Jackson makeup kit, which was available ONLY ON TV! What I remember most about it was that the mascara was DOUBLE ENDED, with a pot of clear mascara meant to add “shine” to your lashes. Instead, I layered these two formulas until my eyelashes looked like tarantula legs and paired it with the accompanying mauvey lipstick. At 5’10” I basically looked like a weird mom.

In high school I discovered that the more you hid your natural beauty, the more truly beautiful you became. I used a bizarre combination of white eyeliner, black eyeliner, and Hello Kitty glitter eye crayons to achieve a carefree style.

What do you find attractive about yourself? What do you think are your best features?
Almost all of the things I spent nearly a lifetime hating I’ve now come to love or at least accept (with the exception of adult acne because, really? REALLY?!). I’m six feet tall, and have been since I was 15. That’s not easy when you’re a freshman in high school, and it’s not always easy when you’re 24 and single for the first time in your life in New York City, where I swear every man is teeny tiny. I used to hate my height, but I’ve realized it’s an indelible part of who I am. Obviously, because there aren’t surgeries to make you shorter, but at this point I enjoy being the tallest woman in the room to the point where, when I met my husband’s ex girlfriend in person, I was actually jealous that she is taller than me.

I also used to hate my lips. They’re big on their own, but during the braces phase, they made me look like a neanderthal. Bonus: when I’m old and they wither up, they’ll just look like normal person lips!

What are your favorite products? What can’t you live without?
When I was working in Beauty PR, I met the amazing Janine Falcon of Beauty Geeks who helped me work up the courage to wear lipstick for the first time. Once I got over the feeling that everyone who saw me knew I was new to the lipstick game, I became addicted.
I have at least 5 colors on my person at any one time, but my current favorite is a good old drugstore standby: CoverGirl LipPerfection Lipcolor in Tempt. I’ve been wearing it all season, but I always have at least 5 colors on my person at any one time.
My favorite fragrance of all time is Diptyque’s L’Eau de L’Eau: it’s technically for men but then, I also like to wear men’s deodorant because there is something comforting about the scent of a hot dude following you around all day (oh my god I’m insane). That and Lola were the fragrances I was wearing when I met my husband, so they instantly take me back to the butterflies of new romance.

What is your daily beauty routine?
I’m on maternity leave, so right now my beauty routine is to check my boobs for stretch marks and keep my nips moisturized, but in REAL LIFE it looks like this:

Body:
Shower (maybe) with Aveda Rosemary Mint soap, avoid washing my hair because I hate it.
Slather my whole body with Cocoa Butter (the preferred brand is Queen Helene but it’s scarce nowadays)

Face:
Moisturize with Dr. Hauschka Quince Day Cream
Wash my face with Arcona Raspberry Bar and the Clarisonic. Notice that I never actually get all the mascara off my eyes.
Neutrogena Clear Face Sunscreen, which I basically use as a second moisturizer
A little MAC BB cream in their palest shade
Tons of L’Oreal Voluminous Mascara
MAC Archie’s Girls Face Powder in Flatter Me

Hair:
Spray my whole head with a cloud of Dove Dry Shampoo (literally the best dry shampoo in the world, and less than $6 at Target!)
Rub Shu Uemera Essence Absolue oil on the ends, brush and leave for work.

At night, I use more Hauschka moisturizer and Neutrogena Clinical eye treatment because I’m terrified of wrinkly eyes.

Who are your beauty icons?
I have a schizophrenic idea of beauty. On the one hand, I’m infatuated with Caroline Bessette Kennedy (rest in peace), Uma Thurman and their timeless, classic looks. When I’m older, I’ll hopefully look strong and handsome like Angelica Huston (shut up, that’s my self-image).
On the other hand, I came of age at the same time at Britney and Christina and find their glitzy, shiny, turboslut appearance undeniably appealing. For the love of God, I pierced my belly button just because those girls did! That’s the power of celebrity!

What are products you think every girl needs?
A Clarisonic Mia was easily the best beauty money I spent last year. I swear it has magical powers. Bonus: you can use it on your manfriend to get the dry skin out of his beard (GROSS, I KNOW!) and then pick at his blackheads (stop pretending we don’t all do this).
You also need suncreen. Every day. Even in winter. The Vitamin D argument is basically bull, but the risk of skin cancer is not. I might be unusually obsessed with this as a pale person of Irish descent, but there is nothing that pains me more than a beautiful woman with signs of sun damage.

What are some beauty trends you wish would go away?
The midwest is the ONLY place keeping the wedge cut alive. As a woman, a midwesterner and now a mom, I implore us all to DO BETTER.

Let’s talk about the pink hair! When did you decide to go pink? Who did it? How?
Pregnancy made me incredibly impulsive and antsy. I’d told my husband at different times that I was going to shave my head, get a neck tattoo, dye my hair pink. The only one he really got behind (and that wasn’t a horrible idea) was pink hair.

I get my hair done by Carly at Mezzanine salon, and have since referred nearly every human I know to her. When I lived in New York, I would schedule my trips home around hair appointments, and she never judged me when I box-dyed my hair “platinum blonde” and then went to a Russian hair salon to have them “even it out” and came back to the midwest looking like a drowned sewer rat. Full disclosure: she’s now my sister in law.

With the pink hair, it took a few attempts to get it to the right shade: like cotton candy, not like my daddy didn’t give me enough hugs. Two surly teens with blue hair outside of Hot Topic at the MOA complimented me on it recently, and I believe they were being sincere. So that’s cool.

Another thing that will make me sound insane: I think it’s the natural color I should have been born with.

You have a baby now! What products is HE using?!
It’s my greatest hope that he becomes a true fancy motherboy in the Buster Bluth tradition, so he uses only the finest products: California baby lotions, Mustela baby washes and Burt’s Bees diaper creams that actually smell good and not like poop and medicine. Motherhood is really sexy, ladies.

the only 2 nail polishes i want for spring

Thu, 07 Mar 2013 16:45:00 -0500

I have been in a nail polish slump as of late. I cleaned out the infamous polish box and got rid of about half. (They’re in a closet awaiting rummage sale season.) The only colors I’m interested in wearing are classic red (Revlon Red Bikini, Zoya Sooki, Essie Lollipop) or YK Blue, per usual.

That is until the genius beauty wonder Tynan at XoJane introduced me to Floss Gloss. (He is the CUTEST and he lives in Wisconsin. I’m trying to get him to visit and play perfumes with me.) This is BritBrit2000, inspired by her Oops! I Did it Again catsuit. Has a polish ever been more tailor-made for me? I don’t think so. And it’s only $8! I love the little retro bottle; it looks like an old Estee Lauder lipstick. I am also digging on pastel lilac Perf (looks like a Barbie dress) and “pinto bean” colored Tanline (for mannequin hands!)

JinSoon Choi is manicurist to runway stars and I’ve heard great things about her eponymous nail line. Her spring shades just came out and OBVIOUSLY Blue Iris ($18) is speaking to me. My obsession with blue polishes is legendary; the girls at Nordstrom alert me when a new one comes in. Blue Iris is stunning; I swoon when I see it.

current beauty inspiration

Wed, 06 Mar 2013 11:04:23 -0500

beauty interview: amy gee

Fri, 08 Feb 2013 10:55:12 -0500

I bet you’ve been wondering when I was going to feature my roommate & BFF & amazing photographer Amy Gee on here! Well, I was building up the anticipation - here she is! We met as teeny little freshmen in the dorms at the University of Minnesota and 6 years later, we have a lovely apartment inhabited by two lovely cats. I think Amy is one of the most beautiful chicks I know (and I know a lot). Obv she’s naturally gorgeous (she’s never dyed her hair! Jealous.) but here are her favorite products to enhance that prettiness.

When did you start wearing makeup?

I started wearing makeup when I was 6 for dance competitions. Throughout my childhood, I thought that putting makeup on was the same as painting my face and I hated it. I didn’t wear makeup again until high school, when I thought that spending my allowance money on L’Oreal products and other drugstore makeup lines made me feel fancy. I also thought that wearing lots of eyeliner was cool too - bottom and top liner. I’d like to think that I’ve learned a lot since then.

Who taught you/what products did you use?

My mom used to apply my makeup for dance, but I remember there was one specific time where she had to deal with a costume emergency and I had to apply my eyeshadow and eye makeup myself. It wasn’t perfect, but it worked. Since then, I’ve sort of followed the same method, trial and error. Honestly, I still watch YouTube videos for makeup tutorials because I don’t know what I’m doing most of the time. P.S. Never ask me how to apply eyeshadow because that is my ultimate weakness.

What do you find attractive about yourself? What do you think are your best features?

My virgin hair. Less is more.

What is your daily beauty routine?

Most days, I wind up with 20 minutes to do my makeup before I have to rush out the door. This harsh winter has not been kind to my skin, so I’ve been using a more intense moisturizer than usual- Korres Wild Rose 24-Hour Moisturizing and Brightening Cream. I usually let that set for a bit before applying makeup. I’m not a big primer person, but I’ve been using this sample of Hourglass Veil Mineral Primer and it’s working out pretty well. Then I’ll apply a little bit of Smashbox High Definition Concealer for my “problem areas” and blend it all in with NARS liquid foundation in Punjab. Depending on what I’m wearing that day, I switch between these 3 NARS blushes: Deep Throat, Orgasm, and Outlaw. I haven’t been wearing bronzer lately because a) it’s depressing to have to apply bronzer when it’s below zero out, and b) I ran out a few weeks ago. To make sure all of that stays put (if I’m not using primer), I use a couple of spritzes of Urban Decay’s Dew Me. For my eyes, I’ve been using Stila Stay All Day Waterproof Liquid Eye Liner for a cat-eye and Givenchy Noir Couture mascara which makes my stubby lashes look a little bit longer than normal.

What are your favorite products? What can’t you live without?

My favorite products are also ones I’ll never part with. I am a NARS junkie and I love everything that I buy from them. My new favorite product right now is Caudalie Divine Oil - it’s more moisturizing for my skin than anything else right now. (Amy wants me to add that she loves No. 4 hair products. So do I! Thanks for converting us, Blowdry!)

Who are your beauty icons?

Mostly pretty asian bloggers/tumblr girls. See also, my girl crushes: Daisy Lowe, Charlotte Kemp Muhl. Oh, and Kate Moss and Alison Mosshart when they don’t look totally nuts. But sometimes I like that too.

What are products you think every girl needs?

Moisturizer with SPF (!!!), a good tube of mascara (I’m still trying to figure this one out), moisturizing hand cream, and tinted lip balm for a little bit of color when you’re on-the-go.

What are some beauty trends you wish would go away?

Ombré. I just saw a commercial for an ombré-at-home kit. Ladies, it’s time to move on.

my makeup: winter 2013

Mon, 28 Jan 2013 10:00:30 -0500

Happy winter! NOT. Last winter in Minnesota, we had a wonderful few months where it rarely dipped below 35-40 and didn’t snow very much. This year, however, karma got us back; it’s either bone-cold or snowing like crazy. I hate winter. Makeup makes me happy, so here’s what’s keeping my spirits up as the temp drops.

Holy grail lip balm Malin + Goetz is the only thing I trust to keep my lipstick-wearing mouth moisturized. I put it on at night and it’s still there in the morning. I like (but not love) the Fresh Sugar lip balms too.

Recently I have been experimenting with eye cream. I’m 25, I should probably start. I flip between Kiehl’s Avocado, BeneFit It’s Potent! and Armani Regenessence.

For someone who has over 50 nail polishes (OK, who are we kidding. It’s closer to 70.) I have been using the same three over and over. Essie Lollipop is forever my favorite bright red. Stila’s Stay All Day liquid lipstick in Beso matches perfectly, and it REALLY stays all day. I put it on at 9 AM and was still wearing it 12 hours later.

A recent bout of too-intense cleansing left my skin flaky and dry. My friend Tyra at Sephora recommended Clarins Cleansing Milk with Alpine Herbs as a more moisturizing option. I adore the creamy mint color and its silky texture. I like to use it alongside Clarins famous Beauty Flash Balm; I’m not really sure what it does exactly, but I always feel prettier and glowier when I use it. I love that the directions say DO NOT RUB IN. Well, I do. (Not pictured: my sample bottles of Clarins Blue Orchid Oil, which I love to smear all over my face like a mask.)

I bought a great deal of the Marilyn Monroe MAC collection, for obvious reasons. One of my must-haves was the Beauty Powder, even though I’m still not exactly sure what beauty powder is. I like to swirl a big fluffy brush in it and sweep it all over my face.

On a Walmart beauty supply trip (Psssst! dry shampoo, Am-Lactin lotion … things only found at Walmart lately) I spent a few minutes perusing Drew Barrymore’s new makeup line, Flower. It is ADORABLE. The nail polishes are beyond cute in a perfect palette, the mascara legit (I tried the Extreme Measures lengthening) and the lipsticks surprisingly great for $6.98. This one is Get to the Poinsettia. (They all have flower-theme names, to up the cuteness ante.) All of Flower’s products are made in the US. I would definitely recommend stopping at a Walmart and grabbing a few, because they’re only sold there. Say what you will about Walmart, but I LOVE Drew and am super intrigued by the rest of the Flower line.

I rotate perfumes regularly; lately I have been using Serge Lutens hay-tobacco Chergui, Chanel No. 19, by Killian Black to Black and now, Chanel No. 5 Eau Premiere. Yeah, I decided on Eau Premiere vs. the real No. 5. It just felt right at the time, and I really, really love it. Catching a whiff of it on my clothes at the end of the day is delightful. It feels appropriate in the winter and I know it will be even better in the springtime.

(Other essentials as of late: It’s a 10 Leave-In, GHI flatiron, Dr. Dennis Gross Extra Strength Alpha-Beta Peel)

dude beauty interview: aaron knickerbocker

Mon, 21 Jan 2013 09:53:53 -0500

Mr. Knickerbocker makes really good playlists. I can attest to this because once he sent me on that had Jermaine Dupri’s “Welcome to Atlanta” on it, which was a TRL-era song I had totally forgotten existed. He’s also a great addition to any party and a very sweet dude at that. Read on for his thoughts on the best barber in Minneapolis and the importance of an iPod dock to your beauty routine.

Tell me a little about your grooming routine. What’s an average day like?

I have rowing practice early every morning so I fall out of bed and workout before doing anything. After the gym I take a long cold shower but switch to really hot water for the last few minutes. It feels good after an early workout and it gets my energy and “qi” up. Shoutout to Alan Watts’ book Eastern Wisdom. I gotta say though the portable iPod dock reinvented the shower for me. I can charge my phone and blast Gucci Mane while I’m in there? Cool. Lavish lifestyle shit.

Aside from that though my only other real routine is my visit to the barber every couple weeks. Go see Matt Walsh at Winston’s Barbershop on Lake Street. The best in town. He’s cut my hair for a few years and has turned into a good friend of mine. You can play pool and drink beer while you wait for the chair to open up. I always look forward to stopping in. Dudes shouldn’t be afraid to get a classic tapered up men’s haircut as opposed to the usual “short on the sides, longer on the top.”

What are your favorite products? What can’t you live without?

Product wise I’ve tried different things but always go back to shampoo and soap. I can’t mess with bodywash; it doesn’t seem to do the job you know? I like Dove Men’s Care soap. It smells good and it won’t dry your skin out. For shampoo I grab whatever. I need to try Mane N’ Tail based on the packaging alone. I usually trim up my beard once every week or two. A Gillette Mach 3 razor works for shaping up my neck and I use a clippers with a quarter inch guard on my beard. Aftershave/facial lotion is key for my sensitive-skinned brethren worldwide. I like Kiehl’s Facial Fuel but it’s pricey. When my hair is long enough I run a comb through it and use Murray’s pomade. The company has been around for like 75+ years and it literally costs $4. Murray’s works way better than all that overpriced salon shit. For cologne I like Yves Saint Laurent Pour Homme and Ralph Lauren #3.

I think having a nice Dopp kit stands the test of time more than anything else for men. I just got a new one for Christmas from Topo Designs; they make bags and other gear by hand in Colorado. We have nice leather and waxed canvas ones at J.Crew that I like too. It’s way better than traveling with ziplock bags for your toothpaste and deodorant.

Embarrassing stories?

Back when I was like 16 years old my friend Benny and I were super into Fierce cologne from Abercrombie and Fitch. We sprayed it on at all times. Looking back though it isn’t all that embarrassing because girls were obsessed with that shit. We had all the 10th grade babes in a frenzy.

What do you find attractive in a man?

Ryan Gosling does his thing.

What do you find attractive in a woman?

I’m attracted to a girl’s presence and her interests. There is nothing worse than a girl who is casually interested in like “movies and music and going out.” I like a girl who is stoked on something. Take me with you to karate or to ride horses or whatever. A girl that seeks stuff like that out is attractive to me. Leggings are cool too though.

inspired by: sharon tate

Fri, 18 Jan 2013 10:00:10 -0500

Holy God is it cold outside. I am dreaming of a beach vacation … and who better to channel than the ultimate Malibu girl, Sharon Tate. Isn’t she perfect? Here are the products I’m turning to to pretend I am hanging out at the ocean with Sharon.

Maui Babe Browning Lotion- One of my HG beauty products. I tan. All summer. Outside. Slathered in this magical stuff, which reeks like soy sauce but sucks up all the sun and deposits it in your skin. Fantastic! Let’s get baked!

Oribe Apres Beach Wave & Shine Spray- Perfect California girls like Sharon have a tangle of summery, surf-y waves. This one smells delicious.

Dr. Lipp’s Nipple Balm- For lips, silly! Or for nipples, especially after spending days in a bikini. :) Did you know Sharon was the inspiration for Malibu Barbie?

Byredo Gypsy Water- I think Sharon would’ve liked this wispy, earthy scent; it would remind her of her getaways to Big Sur.

Eylure lashes- My favorite brand of false lashes, especially when I want to achieve long, doe-like fringe like Sharon’s. I like the Naturalites.

MAC Kohl in Teddy- This gold-flecked brown is practically perfect and it’s easy to create Sharon’s famous “doe eye” style using it. Teddy is dimensional but not too glamorous, perfect for a laid-back beauty like Sharon.

NARS lipstick in Blonde Venus- No dark berries or bright reds for Sharon, who preferred a natural lip like this one from NARS. (I’d also recommend Dolce Vita.)

dude beauty interview: christopher vondracek

Wed, 09 Jan 2013 10:00:15 -0500

My new fave dude Christopher Vondracek is not only part of the charming and delightful Tangential team, but also won my heart when he let it slip that he’s writing a book featuring Lawrence Welk, Technicolor polka king of my dreams. No, seriously, I really love Lawrence Welk. “Champagne Dance Party?” Sign me up. I got Chris (who is also in a cool band called the Golden Bubbles, right up Welk’s alley!) to spill some of his dude-beauty secrets for me.

Tell me about your grooming routine.

I shower before work, run a comb through hair when one presents itself, Colgate toothpaste, Old Spice (Swagger) deodorant—though I’ve had good remarks on Irish Spring, which has always baffled me because I can’t smell a difference on myself but women must possess enhanced olfactory sense—and some body wash I’ve had since Bush’s second term. It all takes about 3 minutes. For a good six days in early 2010, I used this shea butter (?) face wash an ex-girlfriend left in my shower, but that marks my high point for facial stuff. I know it shows an ignorance about beauty products, but I find facial stuff incredibly emasculating. It’s not, I know, it’s stupid. And I should get over it. But I think those are usually the pages in Esquire that I spin past—that and “get Dad a hatchet this Christmas” gift ideas or whatever. I did however today pick up styling wax (sumo?) from the salon in town. I wish I had Jackson Browne or Adrien Brody hair. But I always find my way back to Jim Carrey-ish circa Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

How did you discover what worked for you?

Maybe this is natural for a lot of men, but I think a certain evasiveness about being “aware” of my style/look has been helpful. The only moments of extreme anxiety—does this shirt look good?, etc—is when I actually consciously consider all my options as opposed to feeling them out. Style works best for me in rhythm with everything else around it—when I stare too long in the mirror, I’m no longer in rhythm. So I like being evasive. Last year down at SXSW, a middle-aged woman who, well this sounds odd, but who bought me dinner (her name was “Dr. G”) and she kept saying I resembled a “young Neil Young” as she asked the bartender to refill my whiskey/coke. I mean, aside from the awesome palindromic-esque aspects of that compliment, I went home, Google-imaged him, and nearly fell out of my chair. Like, I would never have thought—no mutton chops, no straw hats, no Transylvanian brow—we resembled each other, but then when I saw the photo, looked at myself in a mirror and imagined a harmonica or some shit strapped around me, I thought, yes, and this came purely without any intentionality. So, I guess, long and short is what’s worked “best” for me is not thinking about what works for me. I’ve recently had a crisis about my hairline (like the 4^th in my life), and I thought long and hard about shaving it to like bowling ball dimensions, maybe growing a full beard to compensate, but a friend who I trust about fashion texted me in horror saying my hair was my “signature,” and I again was sort of floored that someone thought that was ok. But I really think maturity in fashion shows an immense coming to terms with your own ugly self (“Does my long face and shaggy hair and receding hairline make me sometimes appear like a pay-day loan salesman? Yes it does. And I am okay with that. I contain multitudes” or whatever Emerson said. You can’t ever not look like yourself.)

What products have stood the test of time for you? What can’t you live without?

I do use that shampoo in a green bottle that has “fruit” in its name and have used that since about freshman year of college. I’m very acutely picky about “brands.” Like I will routinely get the off-brand Tylenol or steak knives or whatever. But, for orange juice and shampoo, I will always get the same brand. It’s probably not even best for my hair, but it’s like that wooden board where moms mark their kids’ height, it’s my grooming constitution.

Do you have any embarrassing guy-beauty secrets to confess?

In the first grade, because I think everyone on television wore B.K. Knights and had flat-tops, and since my parents were teachers and we couldn’t get brand shoes, especially not B.K. Knights (my mom DID allow me to get the cheapest NBA-player sponsored shoes out there, Jamal Mashburn’s Fila shoes, which everyone was like, why even bother dude?), but ANYWAY, I got a flat-top, and I was so self-conscious (so self-conscious about dressing myself “up” that I still really don’t do Halloween) that I hid outside our classroom until the SECOND bell rang and Mrs. Ree began teaching, so that I knew the other kids, if they dared to (and honestly they should’ve dared to because I looked like a young, Czechoslovakian purse thief) make fun of me, she would yell at them. Since then I’ve never tried overdoing anything, otherwise I can very quickly go back to biting my fingers in a cold sweat peering from the hallway into that classroom of first-graders.

What do you find attractive in a man?

The older I’ve gotten the more I think men are attractive when they dress and carry themselves as men. This sounds incredibly gag-worthy. But, I think that, I mean, ok, for years, particularly in my view-“Life on Mars”-music-video-3-times-an-hour stage, I did the politically-correct thing and loathed the character of Stanley Kowalski (the rapist, wife-beater, amateur bowler, etc…) in Tennessee William’s Streetcar Named Desire. But, then last summer I taught the film-version and saw (and part of this is the way Brando plays him) Kowalski through an entirely different lens. That simple white T-shirt, the varsity jacket he wears, and his simple clean jaw line with a bit of scruff—that to me (and of course that’s NOT ME—hence the neurosis) is sensuality meets masculinity at its rawest. I mean, the female form is often lauded (and necessarily so) for its physical beauty. But I think as guys, it’s really taboo to pay attention to the male body, sans like ED commercials of Silver Fox dudes in the desert pouring water onto the radiator, which is bizarre.

What do you find attractive in a woman?

This has been a sense of conflict for me—often sending me into tizzies of ancestral and geographical reflection—but I think women are beautiful when they subtly embody the color-wheel-opposite of what I just stated about men: I’m attracted to girly things (skirts, long-ish hair, vibrant color). I also, and I’m not sure where this came from because I didn’t think of it till just now, but also boots and denim skirts. I once dated a girl from western South Dakota who met me for dinner wearing this outfit and I threw out all the tangential issues we were having for that night—she looked so stunning to me. I also mentioned “geographical,” and this may seem odd—but I grew up with a ton of Scandinavian and Germanic girls in my small town (Wells, Minnesota near Albert Lea). So, that sort of fun but literate, clean, colorful look, where maybe a few generations past you could imagine them picking flowers on a mountain side above a fjord for whatever that was wired into me as a teen because the girls at my school kinda had that. But like with an urban edge. I don’t want that Snooki bump that accounts for 45% of my local dentist’s office. And I don’t those blue jeans with the white stitching—it’s like an overgrown Cabbage Patch doll. Basically to boil it all down, show me a girl who is Alice Lon-meets-Banana Republic and there’s my pin-up.

vanity project is on pinterest ... i know, i know

Mon, 07 Jan 2013 11:03:59 -0500

Against my will, I have (KIND OF) succumbed to the charms of Pinterest. YES, Vanity Project now has a Pinterest page. Lots of red lipsticks, platinum blondes and pictures of hot chicks. And NO PICTURES OF KALE or “healthy meals.”

Follow me HERE.

adventures in chanel no. 5

Mon, 07 Jan 2013 09:51:46 -0500

No, this is not inspired by the Brad Pitt commercial. I haven’t even seen it, to be honest. As always, I have perfume ADD and have decided that to be the “perfect woman” in 2013, I must not only learn to cook and get a super tight ass, but also find a Chanel perfume that suits me.

By Chanel I do not mean Chance (I wore that as a teenager) or the over-popular Coco Mademoiselle, which I do not adore. Coco itself gives me a headache, which sucks because it seems SO PERFECT. Coco Noir has a jammy note that doesn’t agree with my fussy nose. And since I refuse to pay over $100 for anything I’m not 100% obsessed with, the Les Exclusifs are out - plus they’re harder to find. That leaves me with No. 19, Cristalle and No. 5.

I love No. 19. I’ll probably end up buying it. It smells just icy enough to be worn in the depths of winter and green enough to match the spring, kind of like the part of March where there’s green grass hiding under snow. I like Cristalle (and its sister Eau Verte) quite a bit too; they feel like my favorite white linen dress in the thick heat of July. I love No. 5 Eau Premiere for making No. 5 accessible to a modern chick. But there’s something elusive and unattainable about No. 5; I desperately want to be the girl with a bottle.

My mom wore No. 5 on her wedding day in 1976. Even though she was 21 at the time, I’ve never felt “old” enough to suit the storied perfume. Except now I’m 25, so therefore I am finally a woman, right? I’m now armed with a sample or two of the eau de toilette version - and there are pronounced differences between the EDT, EDP and parfum. The parfum, obviously, is mad expensive and said to be the best. I’ve never been able to smell it! They do not have it at Neiman Marcus, which is the only place in Minneapolis I’d assume would carry it.

Day 1: Christmas Eve. Swiped a spritz or three of the EDT from my mom. She hoards hers “for special,” which I think is ridiculous. Literally every department store sells No. 5, Mom. You can buy more. Once I get past the initial blast of what most people call “old lady perfume,” I quite like No. 5. It feels elegant and settles nicely into my skin.

Day 2: Christmas Day. Sure, I can wear No. 5 with a little black dress, but can I wear it with leggings and a sweater? The answer is yes. I am acutely aware of its scent radiating off my hair. The women in my family don’t wear a lot of fragrance, so I feel like I stand out.

Day 3: Transmission at the Varsity. I have to be honest here; Chanel No. 5 wafting off me on a sweaty dance floor feels weird.

Day 4: Skyway work day. I’m still just “in like” with No. 5. I don’t feel the need to buy a bottle, but rather exist off samples for the rest of my days. (Which is what I SHOULD be doing instead of constantly buying bottles of things.) I slip off to Macy’s to refresh my scent and choose the EDP instead of the EDT. Perfume blogs seem to prefer EDT over EDP, but once I smell EDP I am in LOVE. We just “work” together. I finally feel as though I am old enough to wear No. 5 - it’s not wearing me.

Day 5: Love. I love the EDP. I’m wearing it again and constantly wondering what smells so good. Oh wait, it’s just me. It feels clean but still a bit “dirty,” not too proper but also elegant. I just love it. I need it. Maybe just a tiny bottle …