Holy God is it cold outside. I am dreaming of a beach vacation … and who better to channel than the ultimate Malibu girl, Sharon Tate. Isn’t she perfect? Here are the products I’m turning to to pretend I am hanging out at the ocean with Sharon.

Maui Babe Browning Lotion- One of my HG beauty products. I tan. All summer. Outside. Slathered in this magical stuff, which reeks like soy sauce but sucks up all the sun and deposits it in your skin. Fantastic! Let’s get baked!

Oribe Apres Beach Wave & Shine Spray- Perfect California girls like Sharon have a tangle of summery, surf-y waves. This one smells delicious.

Dr. Lipp’s Nipple Balm- For lips, silly! Or for nipples, especially after spending days in a bikini. :) Did you know Sharon was the inspiration for Malibu Barbie?

Byredo Gypsy Water- I think Sharon would’ve liked this wispy, earthy scent; it would remind her of her getaways to Big Sur.

Eylure lashes- My favorite brand of false lashes, especially when I want to achieve long, doe-like fringe like Sharon’s. I like the Naturalites.

MAC Kohl in Teddy- This gold-flecked brown is practically perfect and it’s easy to create Sharon’s famous “doe eye” style using it. Teddy is dimensional but not too glamorous, perfect for a laid-back beauty like Sharon.

NARS lipstick in Blonde Venus- No dark berries or bright reds for Sharon, who preferred a natural lip like this one from NARS. (I’d also recommend Dolce Vita.)

A girl can dream. Dear Santa, I’ve been very (OK, mostly) good all year. If you see fit to come visit me, please bring along any or all of these products.

1. Dior Hypnotic Poison- Yummy vanilla/root beer sparkles up top, but as it dries down smells just as sweetly sexy as the Equipment cashmere sweater I also want.

2. Intelligent Nutrients Seductive Aromatic Oil- I popped into MOA’s brand-new Intelligent Nutrients store and freaked out over everything. It’s the latest endeavor of Aveda’s ex-honcho Horst, and did I ever have fun slathering various oils all over myself. I liked Seductive the best … whoda thunk?

3. GlamGlow Tingling & Exfoliating Mud Mask- I have no idea if this stuff is legit, but it looks really fun. 

4. Kevyn Aucoin The Celestial Powder in Candlelight- I have been a Kevyn Aucoin fan since junior high, when my girlfriends and I would use the makeup tutorials in his fantastic books and turn ourselves into Old Hollywood celebrities with whatever we could find in my mom’s makeup bag. As an illuminator freak, I have found that Candlelight is simple perfection. I can’t even describe the way it slides onto skin and sits so wonderfully, it’s like you’re an angel-kissed version if yourself.

5. Serge Lutens Chergui- Gimme. Just gimme. 

6. Carol’s Daughter Repairing Monoi Split-End sealer- Smells divine like gardenia and a tropical isle … and it fixes your stressed-out ends. Carol’s Daughter is AMAZING; everything I’ve tried from this line delivers.

7. Frederic Malle Carnal Flower- Forever my perfume dream, forever out of my reach because it’s damn expensive. But it smells expensive, like mentholated green and coconutty, buttery tuberoses. 

8. Diptyque Tubereuse candle- Tuberoses are my favorite, can you tell? 

9. Guerlain Terracotta Kohl liner- This is something I’ve always wanted but would never buy for myself. Don’t ask me why. I love using loose powder as eyeliner; it looks smoky, mysterious and sexy. I always want to be all of those things.

For some reason, I really enjoy living out of my purse. I seem to have such an attachment to my favorite things that cramming them into a relatively small bag feels necessary. I mean, who knows where I’ll end up on any given day? Now, I don’t lug all of these around 24/7, but these are (most) of my “holy grail” products, AKA things I constantly buy and re-buy because they are so awesome.

1. Thierry Mugler Angel. This was my signature scent when I was 21 and I’ve fallen back in love with it this fall. I like my perfumes to make an entrance and Angel definitely does that. I had a man tell me, “I smelled your perfume before I saw you,” which I think is all kinds of awesome. Angel is not for everybody, but strippers love it and that’s endorsement enough for me. (If I had to narrow my collection down to three bottles I’d choose Angel, Frederic Malle Carnal Flower and Shalimar Eau Legere or Bobbi Brown Beach.)

2.  MAC Ruby Woo. I’m on my third tube of this perfect ultra-matte bright cherry red. Ultimate favorite lipstick of all time.

3. Lancome Hypnose Drama. My love of Lancome mascara comes via my mother and though we both like to try other brands, none compare to the best of the biz. I always go back to Hypnose Drama for its mad lengthening skills. (FYI: Hypnose Star straight-up sucks.)

4. Butter London Come to Bed Red. Even though I have 100+ nail polishes, I really love a good bright red. This one is basically perfect.

5. Amlactin. You know those stupid little red bumps you get on your arms? This erases those in one night. I’m not kidding! It must be made by the gods. 

6. Malin & Goetz lip moisturizer. If you wear as much lipstick as I do (all waking hours), your lips can’t be all flaky and nasty. If you live in Minnesota and the winters blow, it takes a toll on your lips too. How sad! I converted all of my coworkers to this amazing stuff. Put it on at night and you’ll have a gorgeous mouth when you wake up.

7. Clinique Even Better foundation. Though I love Boscia’s BB Cream in the summer when my skin looks tan and pretty, I need foundation in the colder months. I like to flirt around with others but this one is a mainstay. It really does fade dark spots after several weeks of continuous wear.

8. Aveda Be Curly. My hair is naturally wavy, but it doesn’t always look perfect when left to its own devices. This enhances my curl and beats down stupid unruly frizzies, making my hair look way sexier than it is.

Honorable mentions: Arcona Problem Skin kit, MAC Fluidline gel liner in Blacktrack, MAC Kohl in Teddy, Urban Decay NAKED I palette, Essie Bahama Mama polish

So Lady Gaga’s first fragrance, Fame, debuted late last week. Even though I knew there was no way in hell Coty would let her make something that smelled of “blood and semen” (I read Chandler Burr’s The Perfect Scent, which includes the story of SJP’s journey to her Lovely perfume!) I was interested in smelling what Gaga & co had to offer. I traipsed down to Macy’s, spritzed it and rolled my eyes. Not only is it insanely fruity like a Bath & Body Works lipgloss I loved in jr. high, its drydown is so sweetly unassuming that it just doesn’t reconcile itself with its outlandish creator. Though the copy claims it contains notes of “belladonna and nightshade,” all I smelled was a honey apricot with a bit of jasmine. Disappointing.

Every celebrity on earth seems to have a fragrance nowadays - Tim McGraw, Avril Lavigne, Snooki, Heidi Klum - and most of them are pure dreck, cheaply assembled and focus group-tested to death. They’re fruity patchouli or fruity floral and they’re BORING. And hilarious; have you SEEN Mariah Carey’s Lollipop Bling collection? Gag me. But there are celebrity fragrances that DON’T suck and I seem to have accidentally assembled a collection of them. 

Britney Spears Curious - I paid approximately $15 for this a few years ago at a TJ Maxx and revisited it this week. It’s no Fracas, but it’s simple and pretty and blooms in the heat. I could smell it on myself for most of the day. Fantasy is Britney’s most popular scent, but Fantasy is actually heinous. Curious is totally worth $15, and Believe ain’t bad either. 

J. Lo Glow - I wore this in jr. high and last summer, when it was a million degrees and I was a sweaty mess, purchased it again because when I wore it, I radiated a clean but still kinda sexy, well, glow. Miami Glow, which smells like summer but not pina coladas, is also great. One of the best-selling celeb scents for good reason.

Jessica Simpson Fancy Nights - This perfume is downright weird in the realm of celeb scents. It smells like a classic Oriental, like Shalimar or Emeraude. Obviously Jessica (who I love) had nothing to do with any of her scents besides sniffing a strip and saying “That’s nice,” but this one is a shocker. I seriously can’t wait to wear it come fall. (And it was $10 at Marshalls.) Perfume critics love it but chicks who recreationally buy celeb fragrances don’t get it. Kudos, Jess.

Kate Walsh Boyfriend - The chick who played Dr. Addison on Grey’s Anatomy has a perfume. I mean, they’re HANDING these things out. But Boyfriend is so awesome! Walsh seems to have a real interest in perfume, because Boyfriend is an interesting (for a celeb perfume, anyway) woodsy amber that smells both feminine and masculine. The packaging is terrible, but the scent inside is one of my favorite warm & cozy fall perfumes. 

Honorable mentions, aka Celebrity Perfumes That Don’t Make Me Want to Hack: Jennifer Aniston, Kim Kardashian, Sarah Jessica Parker Lovely & Covet, Tim McGraw 

I love perfume blogs, and I read this article on Bois de Jasmin and was totally inspired. Ever since I can remember, perfume has been a huge part of my life. Most of my earliest memories are tied to scent in some way and to this day I keep perfumes solely for the memories they provide.

I am a very little girl and my mother is getting dressed to go out with my dad. I am fascinated by her bottle of Dior Poison and like to crawl up onto the bathroom counter to play with it when she isn’t watching; I also do this with her plethora of makeup, transforming myself into Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz. I like to watch Mom put on her makeup. In her dresser drawer, she has a tiny bottle of Poison that I wish she’d give me - it’s the perfect size for a four-year-old, I think. Mom likes perfume; she also wears Liz Claiborne in the triangle bottle and Chanel No. 5. This is the late ’80s, when perfume was perfume and it made an entrance. “Fruity florals” didn’t exist when I was a child. 

When I smell Poison on my mom, all heavy tuberose and sophistication mixed with the comforting “mom” scent of Lubriderm and cigarette smoke,  I know that a babysitter is coming over and Mom might put on her pearls. I will fall asleep on the couch and my parents will come home late; I will wake up to the crackle of gravel under the wheels of our old blue Suburban. They will smell like beer and cigarettes, because they both smoked then. I will be in that half-place between sleep and awake, but I will remember. Many, many years later I buy a bottle of Poison for myself. I rarely wear it, but I like the comfort of knowing it’s there. Nowadays, Mom likes to wear Donna Karan Cashmere Mist, Flowerbomb and Thierry Mugler Angel, a perfume SHE stole from ME.

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I have issues with perfume, as you’ve probably seen and/or read before. My collection seems to keep growing, but I’m going to place some of the blame on my mother, who has been a fragrance hoarder my whole life. (I keep nagging her to wear Chanel No. 5 every day, but she’s always like, “Nooo, I’m SAVING it!” And I’m always like, “For what? Wear it! You can buy more!”) I have a bunch of more expensive fragrances (Cartier Baiser Vole, Atelier Colognes Bois Blonds and Vanille Insensee, Fracas, Angel, etc.) but there’s a big place in my heart for the kind I can snap up for about $20. (Or less!) 

Parfums de Coeur Skin Musk. I just blogged about this in my “beachy beauty” feature, but I truly do enjoy it. On its own, it stays close to the skin and doesn’t take up too much space, but when you mix it, it adds another layer of depth to simple fragrances. I mix it with Bobbi Brown Beach most often but it plays well with a lot of my fragrance family. $13 at Walmart/assorted drugstores. Spray it everywhere! It’s so cheap! (I don’t apologize for my Walmart shopping, either - they seem to have the best supply of cheap, fun beauty products from all over that I can’t find at Target/CVS.)

Stetson. OH BOY, I am all about Stetson. On a man, it makes me slightly weak in the knees and only a few things (Garth Brooks’ “Shameless” and Paul McCartney’s “Maybe I’m Amazed” do it to it) do that. On me, it’s old-fashioned and elegant. Tania Sanchez, who is one-half of the team behind the greatest perfume book in the history of ever, Perfumes A-Z, loves Stetson too. She compares it to the classic feminines, like Chanel No. 5 and Estee Lauder Youth Dew. It’s $9 … for real. And how cute is that little bottle?

Kiehl’s Musk. Sexy on me, sexy on men, veers clean, veers dirty. The thing I love about Kiehl’s Musk is that it’s a different fragrance every time I wear it, depending on my body chemistry du jour. It’s about $35, but I see it every once in awhile at Marshall’s (treasure trove for fragrance!) for less.

Sand and Sable.  Now would you believe I paid $3 for this? I had a little accident at Walgreen’s last December when I was supposed to be buying Christmas cards and not three classic fragrances for $3 apiece. But they were THREE BUCKS. (I also got Lady Stetson, another winner, and Emeraude, which I kind of hate but like the idea of.) Sand and Sable packs a HUGE punch - at first whiff you’re like “Oh, Fracas, is that you?” And it totally could be, but when it dries down it smells like a fun beach flower girl. Sand and Sable is a LOUD beach flower girl; she hangs around pretty strong for a good few hours. Don’t spray too much! 

Just like that Jessica Andrews song that Leighton Meester sings in Country Strong, I am a SUMMER GIRL of the highest order. Now that there’s actually snow on our Minnesota ground I am experiencing major winter blahs. I miss tan skin, sundresses, messy waves and how sexy everyone looks when it’s like 100 degrees outside and the humidity is high. Ideally I’d like to spend the rest of my days in a bikini on a beach. I feel like a mega babe in the summer and I definitely do not feel that way right now.

I’m channeling my summer lust into beauty products, naturally. I nicked some inspiration from my current major girl crush, Cat Marnell at xojane.com - she likes to smell like summer and turned me on to Mario Badescu’s Summer Shine Lotion, which is only $10 for that amazing “skin/suntan lotion that’s mostly faded/sunshine” smell I am in love with. It doesn’t smell like some putrid tropical drink - just smells like summer. It works even better when you layer it like I do with Bobbi Brown Beach perfume (jasmine, seaweed, air, Coppertone) and/or Skin Musk, which I most definitely paid about $10 for at Wal-Mart and layer with all sorts of things. (SJP bought all the Bonne Bell Skin Musk oil when they discontinued it and that was a tipping point for Lovely, which is a fragrance that is so not me but I kind of like playing with anyway. This Skin Musk is a little different and probably not as good, but I’m all about Wal-Mart cheap beauty thrills as you’ll see in the future if I blog like a good girl.)

I’m always amused when magazines do “beach hair tutorials” because that’s basically my natural hair texture. My hair + a day at the lake = perfect combination. But because I bleached the shit out my hair when it was platinum and am now trying to coax it back to happy, my waves are kinda meh. I stumbled upon Not Your Mother’s Beach Babe texture spray when prowling around CVS for beauty products, which is one of my favorite things to do in the world. $6 later (versus $22, which I almost shelled out for Bumble & bumble Surf Spray) my wavy crazy mermaid curls are back. It even smells (and tastes) like saltwater.

Next on my “beach beauty” list: Comptoir Sud Pacific Aqua Motu perfume, perhaps J Lo Miami Glow perfume (LOL for real, I know, but I wear Glow and it smells fab) and several spray tans via the greatest tanning salon in the Twin Cities, Golden Tan.

I’m not going to apologize for my lack of posting lately. Let’s just be happy that I’m back - and hopefully, finally to stay!

I’m 75% done with my holiday shopping, which most definitely means I can buy myself a gift or two, right? Obviously my utmost wants & wishes are beauty related - here’s what I’d like to see under my (imaginary) tree.

La Mer The Concentrate - At $275+, this is a total wish. I’ll never ever get to call La Mer The Concentrate my own, unless my student loans just magically disappear into thin air. (THAT’S my Christmas wish, Santa.) But oh is it heavenly. I can’t even describe how pleased and swoony I feel when I get a sample to use for a day or two. My bad, temperamental skin is in love with this stuff.

Caudalie Beauty Elixir - I am obsessed with face sprays! (Currently I’m alternating between By Elizabeth Dehn, Wyndmere and All Nighter, Urban Decay’s makeup setting spray.) I think Caudalie’s version will make its way into my Sephora cart very soon - it’s just $16 and if supermodels are using it, I should be too. It’s half-toner and half-serum and just the thing for a little spritz during a manic Saturday at the MOA.

Cartier Baiser Vole - Lily perfume. ALL lily. Florals are not my thing; I belong to the spicy/sexy/warm/oriental/gourmand perfume camp judging from the fragrances I use (Prada Candy, Angel, YSL Elle, Prada, Shalimar), but I fell hard for this elegantly feminine green floral when I smelled it last fall. I think this is my Spring-Summer 2012 fragrance. Plus the bottle! I mean, just look at it! The lid flips up like a Zippo!

NARS Velvet Matte Lip Pencils - I’ll take Damned, Cruella, Red Square and Dragon Girl, please. I don’t know how I resisted Dragon Girl for so long - it’s my third or fourth favorite red of all time. Besides the fact that you have to sharpen them with a special NARS sharpener, these things are my new lipstick jam. It’s like a lipliner AND lipstick (matte, of course) in one. Obsessed.

If you don’t know about Into the Gloss, the greatest beauty-related blog I’ve found so far, then today’s your lucky day. It’s run by Voguette Emily Weiss, who has the privilege to pry into the beauty habits of all kinds of fabulous people, from supermodels to magazine editors to stylists. Since I’m nosy as all hell, of course I find this inspiring. Jane did an ITG-inspired post of her own awhile ago, and since I’ve got strep and am quarantined today, here’s mine! (I know, Jane’s is way prettier. I get green with envy when I look at it.)

Aveda Smooth Infusion Glossing Straightener; Pravana Sulfate-Free Brightening Shampoo; Kiehl’s Olive Fruit Oil Deeply Repairative Hair Pak; Manic Panic Virgin Snow toner; Jonathan Overnight Oil Treatment

Kerastase Elixir Ultime; Fresh Sugar Rose lip treatment; Mario Badescu Glycolic Foaming Cleanser; Bumble and bumble White Hair Powder; Clinique Even Better Clinical; Face Spray by Elizabeth Dehn; Origins Checks & Balances cleanser; Earth Sciences Almond-Aloe Moisturizer

(Purse essentials as of late) Juicy Couture Viva La Juicy; MAC Show Orchid; Revlon Really Red Matte; MAC Neon Orange, Lady Danger, Candy Yum-Yum; NARS Pure Matte Carthage; NARS Super Orgasm; Sephora orange gloss

China Glaze Flip-Flop Fantasy neon; American Apparel Butter; China Glaze Japanese Koi neon; OPI Apine Snow matte … and some of my newest thrift store books. (Yes, that IS Danielle Steel.)

A few more favorites; China Glaze Turned Up Turquoise neon; China Glaze Frostbite; Orly magenta I forget the name of; new favorite candle, Aloha Orchid from Capri Blue

Bunch of MACs; Fracas; Britney Spears Curious; J Lo Glow; Shalimar; Kiehl’s Musk; Prada; Stetson

And finally, bedside necessities. (And a stray D&G lipstick/Estee Lauder gloss … I don’t know how that got there.) Kiehl’s Lip Balm; O’Keeffe’s Working Hands creme; Rosebud Salve; hot pink earplugs for beauty sleep

I met Jeremy through Michael Dodes (also the man behind this adorable portrait) and my first impression was, “Wow, this kid smells great!” It wasn’t your typical cologne scent, either … it was something intriguing and different. I soon learned Jeremy is a fragrance aficionado of the highest order. (Considering I just bought a small bottle of Juicy’s Viva La Juicy, I don’t know if I can place myself in his realm.) Naturally I had to pump him for info on his fragrance background and his favorite scents, as well as those he wishes would GO AWAY. 

What began your love affair with fragrance? - As far back as I can remember, my mother had the most spectacular and fragrant flower gardens. I used to sit in the dirt and hold the flowers right up to my nose. Peonies, roses, lilies; you name it and it was probably growing somewhere in her garden. I could be out there for hours on end, moving from one plant to the next, studying the distinct scents of each plant. The funny thing was that I was deathly allergic to bees. I don’t know how I was allowed to be out there for such long periods of time, but that’s beside the point. Anyways, at that moment, I knew when I was grew-up that I wanted to get into the business of capturing the scents of different flowers and plants, which is still my dream today. Hopefully soon, I will have my own apothecaries where consumers can purchase 100% organic, earth-inspired products. I’m imagining my shops will look similar to Sandra Bullock’s characters shop on Practical Magic: all-white interior with products in clear containers. Gorgeous.

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